The Mom Blog

I never thought I would be the person to have a Mom blog.  When I was pregnant, I was very against the idea.  I thought I would have tons of awesome things to say outside Autumn…

 

Damn that was wishful thinking!  I realize now the reason Mom’s blogs are so popular is because (at least as a newborn/baby) your child IS your identity.  Gone are the days people ask

“How’re you doing”

“How’re you feeling”

“What have you been up to.”

 

Those statements are replaced with:

“How is the baby sleeping”

“How is the baby eating”

“How is the baby nursing.” Etc etc….

 

Even when I was pregnant it seemed my life was still at least a little about me.  People asked about how I was!  So now when I want to write, I have realized my whole existence is tied to Autumn.  I don’t do much without her, and pretty much 99.98% of my feelings are about her.  The other .02% is trying to keep my relationship with my husband alive (I will probably get into that in another post.)  I am in no way a selfish person, probably unselfish to a fault… BUT GUYS I AM STILL HERE!!!!! LET’S TALK ABOUT ME!

 

I now understand why Mom blogs are so helpful.  I actually find myself reading them quite a bit with questions about health, tips, tricks etc.  I talk to my mom friends from everything about solid foods, to buying hats to cover vomit in my hair, to what baby poop should look like.  My point is, as soon as I became a mother my entire world changed and MOST of my opinions about everything along with it.  Having a baby has made me a total hypocrite!  Or, do I just know better?

 

Being around a lot of moms, and especially being a SAHM, I think we all yearn our sense of identity back.  I went out for drinks with a girlfriend that has a baby a similar age to mine alone *GASP*, and pretty much immediately both of us said “no talking about our babies tonight!”  (For those that don’t know I moved across the country when I was 32 weeks pregnant.  Most people I know now, only know me as a mom.) I realized that it was one of the first times I connected with this person, and not used the babies as a middleman- a proxy.  Most of my friends here, I love them dearly, they have been lifesavers and great friends, yet I don’t know much about them.  I know everything about their child, but little about the mommy!  We always talk about the babies and not about the other person.

 

This is one of the hardest things, and the main pain point I have with being a stay at home mom.  I take care of my baby as my 9-5, as well as ‘when I get home from work.’  If my husband asked me “what I did today” well…. I took care of the baby?  I am still trying to figure out how to have an identity, while still taking care of my child.  It’s hard to have any sort of interest or hobby when you have a wriggly little baby that constantly needs to be held.  Especially one that doesn’t nap!  I am still still going to try to and find time to write about my other interests, gaming.  I hope the Kristen will also write her lovely food and wine articles.   If you have tips please comment below 😉

5 thoughts on “The Mom Blog

  1. After dealing with infertility for years, when I had Eli four and a half years ago I was ecstatic to have the new identity of “Mom.” Now, not so much. Now that I have two, I literally end every single day looking around the house feeling exhausted from being busy all day and defeated from getting absolutely nothing done.

    My house is a mess. Not just untidy, but certain rooms actually give me anxiety because I just don’t have the time to clean that level of filth. When Seth is home (which is rare due to his work and school schedule) we are so desperate to spend time together, neither of us wants to clean or do the chores that one person alone with a baby can’t do.
    My brain wants to explode. I haven’t been out as just me in over a year. Well, besides the dinner and movie date we took in January. The 2nd one since Eli came along in 2011.
    Jeremiah is very much a sweet, happy, cute little bundle of joy. That is, until I stop giving him 100% of my undivided attention. Then he quickly turns into a ball of fury whose sounds can only rival a banshee or an ambulance at closw range. Couple that with a 4 year old chanting “hey mom, hey mom, hey mom” and now I understand why my mom once blurted out, “That’s it! I’m changing my name to ‘damnit,’ and if you say it I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!”
    It’s too easy to lose yourself. Take a breather when you can. Accept your friends’ offers to babysit, even if you’re just gaming in the next room. Do things that bring you joy. Because the world will keep moving while you’re being a mom at home and soon even you will not remember what “you” feels like.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am sorry you have such troubles :(. You should try and make it to one of our Monday coffee dates. It really helps to be able to go out and just hang around with other ladies (we bring our kids.) I totally agree with your feelings of the world moving on and not even knowing who you are anymore. I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and don’t even see the old ‘me.’ Maybe that me doesn’t belong or exist anymore?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As I read this, I realized that for the first 14 months of my baby’s life, my mom started every phone call and facetime encounter with, “How’s the Baby!?” She would then talk in high pitched voice and engage with the baby. It got to the point where when she called, I would just put the camera in front of the baby and continue doing my own thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I had a non-napping baby and although I ended up being a work outside the home mom, I can tell you that in time, YOU does come back. Just a little different. More like you, except your heart is out there running around in the world without you to protect it, and it’s amazing. Give it time. And savor. I know that’s so cliche and annoying to hear but my baby is 6 years old and I’m me again. And what’s more amazing? She is HER and she’s even better than me.

    Liked by 1 person

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