I never thought I would be the person to have a Mom blog. When I was pregnant, I was very against the idea. I thought I would have tons of awesome things to say outside Autumn…
Damn that was wishful thinking! I realize now the reason Mom’s blogs are so popular is because (at least as a newborn/baby) your child IS your identity. Gone are the days people ask
“How’re you doing”
“How’re you feeling”
“What have you been up to.”
Those statements are replaced with:
“How is the baby sleeping”
“How is the baby eating”
“How is the baby nursing.” Etc etc….
Even when I was pregnant it seemed my life was still at least a little about me. People asked about how I was! So now when I want to write, I have realized my whole existence is tied to Autumn. I don’t do much without her, and pretty much 99.98% of my feelings are about her. The other .02% is trying to keep my relationship with my husband alive (I will probably get into that in another post.) I am in no way a selfish person, probably unselfish to a fault… BUT GUYS I AM STILL HERE!!!!! LET’S TALK ABOUT ME!
I now understand why Mom blogs are so helpful. I actually find myself reading them quite a bit with questions about health, tips, tricks etc. I talk to my mom friends from everything about solid foods, to buying hats to cover vomit in my hair, to what baby poop should look like. My point is, as soon as I became a mother my entire world changed and MOST of my opinions about everything along with it. Having a baby has made me a total hypocrite! Or, do I just know better?
Being around a lot of moms, and especially being a SAHM, I think we all yearn our sense of identity back. I went out for drinks with a girlfriend that has a baby a similar age to mine alone *GASP*, and pretty much immediately both of us said “no talking about our babies tonight!” (For those that don’t know I moved across the country when I was 32 weeks pregnant. Most people I know now, only know me as a mom.) I realized that it was one of the first times I connected with this person, and not used the babies as a middleman- a proxy. Most of my friends here, I love them dearly, they have been lifesavers and great friends, yet I don’t know much about them. I know everything about their child, but little about the mommy! We always talk about the babies and not about the other person.
This is one of the hardest things, and the main pain point I have with being a stay at home mom. I take care of my baby as my 9-5, as well as ‘when I get home from work.’ If my husband asked me “what I did today” well…. I took care of the baby? I am still trying to figure out how to have an identity, while still taking care of my child. It’s hard to have any sort of interest or hobby when you have a wriggly little baby that constantly needs to be held. Especially one that doesn’t nap! I am still still going to try to and find time to write about my other interests, gaming. I hope the Kristen will also write her lovely food and wine articles. If you have tips please comment below 😉