Duality of Home Project

Concept piece/album Duality of Home is the juxtaposition of the private home and the home that one is forced into – really opening one’s eyes to the world we live in.  Centered quiet vs socio-political reality.

With the amazing artist, Heather Levy (r) at her opening reception

When artist Heather Levy first asked, “What is home?” in Autumn  2017, this was a very different project. My vision was narrow. I was consumed with the challenges of a 1790s farm house. Things like – the stacked stone foundation with a seasonal creek running through the crawl space – the critters that were soon to move into the basement and walls in the winter, the sound of the wood stove. The chimes outside the window, the creek across the street. Though I read my daily news sites, With no TV and no neighbors, even in its most dramatic, life is pretty quiet and physically isolated.

Unexpectedly we moved to Houston, TX for 5 months – out of the woods into the middle of the 4th largest city in the US. When we weren’t driving from place to place, we spent most of our time with huge cable news junkies.  Houston is also the 14th fastest growing city in the US. There are people and construction everywhere – new skyscrapers downtown and new homes in the sprawling suburbs. This was a stark contrast from the home that I longed for in the Catskills of New York.

Duality of Home is the juxtaposition of these experiences. The sound sculpture was premiered as part of Heather’s beautiful show, Time to Think at the Haley-Henman Contemporary Art Gallery in Dallas, TX.

The Project Constraints

Time to Think
Diptych: Time to Think 2018

Common throughout the tracks is the use of ambient noise. I have recorded conversations as well as rain and wind storms in New York and Texas. I even was able to record raw electric current.

To self edit, I only chose news clips from MSNBC as that is the primary station I heard in the background for most of my time in Texas.

Originally, I had planned to feature news from my time in Texas, so headlines and “breaking news” from January to May. However there was no way to ignore the immigration crisis.

The final project actually featured less news than I originally planned. As great as my project map seemed, in practice it was torture to listen to that much news in the editing process. At the end of each session I was grumpy and I had a headache.

The final sound sculpture is a mixture of live music recordings, ambient sound recordings, news clips and chanting.

I had planned this as two 20 to 30 minute pieces. After consulting with Heather about the gallery space, I decided to break it up into several alternating tracks to give the listener the ability to stand inside the intimate space and get a sense of both sides of home.

The tracks

1 – A Storm is Coming

This piece is very much aligned with what I was thinking when I first conceived this project.

However, as we started working together it became apparent that the musicians each had a different view of what should be included. This, coupled with a number of other factors lead to the title, a Storm is Coming.

Incidentally, when we did this recording, a storm did roll in. We lost power to the house. The recording was done on battery power.

Detail from Time to Think 2018, What I’m thinking about

2 – Cristina Says No – Baby Girl in the World

These recordings were made early in the trip to Texas. I was not so home sick at this time. I still thought I was coming home at the end of January.

SB did not want to listen to the electricity as part of the Menil Collection exhibit by Mona Hatoum: Terra Infirma

I kept hearing the rhythm in her voice as I listened to this recording.

3 – Life by the Creek

This piece was achieved by meditating on the chimes outside my window on a windy day.

4 – Right To Assemble, Freedom Of : From Religion And Kindness

This track features the first amendment, the right to assemble and freedom of and from religion. Incidentally in listening to copious White House press room briefings, these people weren’t very kind to each other.

5 – Rumi – Joy Of Living

Detail from Time to Think

Tracks 5 and 7 are based on oracle cards I started using to do focused meditation each morning while in Houston. My home by the creek is so beautiful and peaceful. One does not need to struggle to find center. Surrounded by so much green and rock and water it is  possible to feel earth’s divine energies ripple around you.

When I was stuck in the middle of the city with distractions and people all around, I found I had have to work to achieve center. Morning prayer and meditation helped me achieve this. I also adopted a practice of playing my thank you each morning. I improvised a little each day in gratitude for waking up.

6 – Incredulous Electric Shock

The news in this segment is layered on top of the ambient recording from the Menil Gallery – people walking on top of the the electric currents. The news commentator is shocked at the level of access someone without a security clearance would have. In listening to the news on a daily basis, it seemed that everyone was just shocked at the next thing… and the next thing. I’m tired of shock.

7 – Om Mani Padme Hum

Sounds from home – chimes and nature with chanting of Om Mani Padme Hum

8 – Right To Bear Arms

This topic was the original end of the sculpture. First there was the shooting in Las Vegas then the school shooting in Florida. I though I had enough to work from. There were courageous children, there was pride, amazement, scorn and everything in between from pundits. Of course, I was shocked that there would be more. So then I stopped being shocked and just accepted it as the noise that masks what is really happening.

9 – Palate Cleanser

Strong and fierce, much like a lotus blossom Acrylic, gouache, wc on canvas
16″ x 12″

When tasting wine and food, you get a palate cleanser between courses in order to refresh and relax for tastebuds before you are bombarded with more. After so much news, I just wanted to sit and relax and let sound wash all around.

10 – Defend Thy Constitution

The title of this track comes from a sign in the nearest town in upstate New York. While away, I did not remember the words of the sign, I just remembered that in my head it seemed strict and dogmatic – slightly religious. It turns out that I didn’t remember it correctly. The sign read, “Obey The Constitution” which seems even closer to the truth.

This track features the Declaration of Independence and Constitutional Amendments 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 13, 18 and 24.

11 – The New Colossus

This track uses the ProPublica recording of children being separated from their parents. As the mother of a toddler, what if this happened to me? What if this happened to my own mother who came to this country as an immigrant herself.

I also found recordings of United States Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen when she was confronted by protesters as she ate at a Mexican restaurant in Washington DC and interviews with Elizabeth Warren and Chris Matthews on Hardball on MSNBC regarding the immigration situation.

As I listened to the material above, my mind kept coming back to Emma Lazarus’ poem, The New Colossus was written in 1883 to raise money for the pedestal for the Statue of Liberty which stands in the New York Harbor.

12 – Home to What Remains

Season of the Soul:Ode to Autumn
Acrylic,gouache, wc on canvas
20″ x 16″

My partner and I were finally back in New York. Back to the clean up our house from being gone for so long – both literally and figuratively.

In Conclusion

Thanks for taking the time to read about this piece. I would like to thank Heather Levy for giving me the opportunity to collaborate with her on her timely Installation. Thanks to John Marcucci, gallery director for hosting this feast of sound and vision at HALEY-HENMAN contemporary art gallery. Thank you to the universe and  my parents for conspiring to bring me to Houston, TX for so long – something I had resisted for a long time. Thanks to SB for finally sleeping through the night, allowing me to work on this while everyone was sleeping.


Sound and Vision Events in Dallas, TX

Sound and Vision Events in Dallas, TX – Duality of Home and Time to Think

Time to Think
Diptych – Time to Think

The creation of my composition Duality of Home has been the juxtaposition of the private, chosen home and the home that one is forced into – having to be aware of the current events around us – whether we agree or not.


When Heather Levy first asked me, “What is home?” in October 2017, this was a very different project. My vision of home was admittedly narrow. I was consumed with the challenges of our physical home – a 1790s farm house. Things like – the stacked stone foundation with a seasonal creek running through the crawl space – the critters that were soon to move into the basement and walls come winter, the sound of the wood stove that we fire up in mid fall. The chimes outside the window, the creek across the street. We don’t have TV. We live in the Catskills of New York and we have no neighbors. Even in it’s most dramatic, life is pretty quiet and physically isolated.

Artists Kristen (sound) and Heather (visual)

Fast forward to January and we found ourselves unexpectedly in Houston, TX for a total of 5 months. Out of the woods into the middle of the 4th largest city in the US, behind Chicago, LA and NY. My father had a stroke and we were helping with his recovery, thus spending a lot of time at his house. My parents are huge news junkies. They have cable news on all day. This was my life for 5 months. Driving even the shortest distance was a traffic filled 20 minute car trip. Houston is also the 14th fastest growing cities in the US. There is construction everywhere  – new skyscrapers downtown and new homes in the sprawling suburbs. This was a stark contrast from the home that I longed for in New York.

My sound sculpture/concept album, Duality of Home is the juxtaposition of these experiences.

ListenHaley Henmann Gallery 516 Fabrication Street, Dallas, TX; Online coming soon

When: July 1 – 31 at Haley-Henmann Gallery at Open Studio 516

Opening Reception – July 14 – 5 to 8 PM
Artist Talk – July 21 – 3 – 5 PM

For more information about the show, contact John Marcucci–   t: 214.749.1277 email: info@haleyhenman.com


Royal Wedding May 2018

Royal Wedding May 2018

Royal party at Zaza

Hurling down the highway
Past strip upon strips of malls and traditional homes
The perfect picture of what we should aspire for
God, Guns and Country
She sits in her car seat, legs splayed talking about her bum
As three year olds do
Her bell tone voice tinkling from her car seat,
Innocent to her offense
Mother chides her
A princess doesn’t sit that way

What does she know of princesses?
She knows that she is perfect, loved
Her body is not bad
No one has told her to hate because of “this”
Or to shun because of “that”
Reading aloud about newest member of “The Firm”
Her mother has a nose ring and dreadlocks
The rage! Where is the decorum, propriety?
A divorcee an actress on display
She didn’t get where she is by her table manners and quiet life
She is not safe, she is not the expected bride
She is clear about who she is

I have princess envy.

Beautiful Wraith

Beautiful wraith
In spirit, and physical form
You stir on my lips

Your breath on my breath, hot moisture
Mingling in the space between
Part of each other, again

I cannot see you, touch you
You press upon my neck, brushing back my hair
Pulling the ends down
Guiding me to look
Into your eyes, a thousand miles away

Yet, inches from mine
I feel your kiss, your tongue, probing mine
Drinking me in –
Between space and time.

Part 4: Unexpected Snowbird – Love is the Answer

5 months later

5 months into recovery from his stroke and Dad’s doctors and therapists rate him as 80% back to health and counting. At tax time he happily obsessed about numbers, receipts and deductions before sending things to his accountant. When his doctors and therapists ask how he did it, he says love from his family is what brought him this far. I say it is that, plus determination from him and having a strong advocate like Mom when his own voice could not be heard.

Prepping for homecoming – The Strong Advocate: no dogs and home renovations are easy, right?

Two days after Cristina and I arrived but before Allan got to Texas, Mom said to me, “Kristen, you can’t have Dolce here.”

“What?” I questioned. “We’ve always brought her here. Allan’s on his way from New York with the dog, as we speak.”

“Daddy doesn’t like dogs. He doesn’t want to think about the dog when he gets home.”

“But what about all of the other times we’ve come with her?” I pressed.

Mom said, “We accept her because she is yours and we love you. But Dad asked yesterday, ‘will I have to see the dog?’ I have to help him get better.

I called Allan right away. What should we do with Dolce for three weeks? Mom offer to pay for the housing at the kennel down the street. We rejected that right away. How would Dolce feel? She’s blind would be left alone at a new place, away from her people for 3 weeks.

The next day, I told Mom we would look for an AirBnB instead of staying at the house. Mom was relieved for dad but felt like she failed me and SB because we could not live with her.

While the move was hard at the start – driving in Houston traffic four times a day – it turned out to be for the best.  All of the stress that might be there between mother and daughter if we lived under one roof, seemed to lessen on the drive home.

To further make Dad’s home environment comfortable Mom ordered a total renovation of the master bathroom. On New Year’s Day, Mom informed me that a contractor would be coming to completely renovate their bathroom so that Dad would not need to worry about doors, the cumbersome shower and the like.

“Who is this person and when is he coming?” I asked.

“The contractor is coming and on Wednesday. You will supervise the work. He says that the entire job will be finished by Sunday, then the cleaners will come on Monday so that Dad can come home on Tuesday,” she said.

It sounded too easy.

The work started a day late with major reconstruction ending on Monday. Mom was beside herself with worry that Dad would not be able to come home to his home. She made alternate arrangements for him to stay at the neighbor’s house, just in case. This was a good plan.

On Tuesday, the day of Dad’s homecoming, the bathroom still wasn’t finished. Everything worked but there was no shower door or fixtures to turn the water on and off.  A thick coating of construction dust covered the bedroom and most of the first floor. To make matters worse, the cleaning team Mom hired did not show up at the appointed time. That was 2 PM and Dad was supposed to be home by 4.

Luckily my friend, Ayma had flown into Houston the day before to help welcome Dad home and be a support to me. She and I got to work. We swept baseboards, and chair moldings. We washed the walls, changed the bedding. I even moved all of the books and knick knacks to clean the tables underneath instead of dusting around the objects.  

Dad stayed his first night at the neighbor’s house. He came back to a tidy home on Wednesday morning.


Love Brings A Full House 

Slangevar – It’s Gin-o-clock on Dad’s first day home. Don’t worry, He has water

Soon after Dad was admitted to the hospital, Mom called his cousin Sherry in Trinidad. Mom was comfortable with her and could be vulnerable. Unlike to me, where Mom was painting a pretty optimistic picture, “look, Dad is awake, look here he is eating,” she communicated the full details of his situation without the smiles and positive reassuring laughter.

Dad was fortunate to be accepted into the acute inpatient rehab program at CHI Saint Luke in Houston, TX. One of the main stipulations of his admittance to the program was that he would be released to a home filled with family. Studies showed that patients who have family nearby made a more complete recovery than people without a support system.

Mom and Dad live about 2000 miles away from my home in the Catskills. Dad had no immediate relatives in the Houston area. As soon as Mom learned that nearby family would be a requirement, she called Sherry immediately and asked her to come.

Once Mom received the target discharge date, Sherry agreed to stay for 6 weeks, foregoing plans to tour South Africa with her husband. Sherry had taken care of her sick sister with a host of alternative health remedies. The doctors had given her sister some months to live but she thrived for years. Sherry would do the same for Dad. She would help start a regimen that would build his blood and strengthen him naturally so he would feel his best.


Love in Fresh Foods

First meal at home, sheet pan roasted lemony garlic chicken

The saying is, you are what you eat. As an avid cook, I also believe that I infuse my energy into what I make. If I prepare food with love, some of that must get transmitted as we gather together and share  the meal.

Dad came home with some specific directives: to gain weight and stabilize his blood pressure.

Dad arrived home at 114 lbs. He did not like the food  at the hospital and got most of his calories from Glucerna.

His blood pressure had always been on the lower side which in his youth was fine. However as people age, it is harder to keep blood pressure regulated, and a sudden drop was what caused his fall. It was our goal to keep the pressure regulated through food and keep him off of medications as much as possible.

Cousin Sherry set about preparing nutritious meals for the family. Breakfasts were oatmeal, or porridge with raisins or blueberries and flax seed. Lunches were usually some left overs from the night before. If there were no left overs, Sherry would make sandwiches – tuna salad, chicken salad or some quick dish like a colorful veggie pasta dish.

I usually prepared the evening meal as I worked during the day and couldn’t really help with daytime meals. Dinners were true festive family gatherings. Most nights I was cooking for 6 hungry adults.  

The emphasis was in fresh food so we cooked something new every nights. Steaks, meatballs, curries, chicken, fish. The trick was trying to find new ways of preparing the same ingredients. I used lots of fresh herbs to get flavor into the dishes. I wanted to make sure the food was tasty but I needed to  accommodate a number of conditions including blood pressure and blood sugar.

By the end of his first month at home, Dad gained 20 lbs.

To stabilize the blood pressure, we needed to know the blood pressure. Mom purchased a blood pressure reading machine and started to keep a daily diary of his blood sugar and blood pressure readings.

Because dehydration leads to low blood pressure, we monitored the amount of water Dad drank throughout the day – aiming for 2 liters. If the blood pressure was consistently low, we added a teaspoon of Himalayan sea salt water to his glass. As the readings were stabilized over the course of a few days, then we took away the salt.

When Dad first came home from the hospital, his red blood cell count was very low. It seemed that blood barely flowed to his extremities. We had to massage the fingers for what seemed like a minute in order to get a blood sample to measure his sugar levels. To build red blood cells, we cooked beef liver once per week. Dad ate it over the course of two or three days with some rice and watercress, kale or another dark green vegetable. We also added beets and beet greens to his vegetable intake. However I forgot to warn them about the effects of eating the beautiful red veggies. Your poop turns red – do not be alarmed!


Love Exercises His Body and Brain

After Dad’s release from the hospital, he did two months of outpatient rehab at TIRR Memorial Herman. Once he started the program, we studied with him. We did brain games at breakfast, lunch and dinner. We bought Dad all types of puzzle books that he could do on his own time. Cousin Sherry would take him on slow short walks during the day. We would time him doing dexterity exercises like transferring small balls from one box to another.

Though Dad was approved for 12 weeks of outpatient therapy, he was dismissed at 8 weeks due to his rapid recovery. He was certified as ok to go forth in his own.


Mom the advocate steps in

Mom needed to get back to work but was not comfortable having Dad alone with just an occasional person to check in during the day. Though I could work from their home, I wasn’t great company. I could not devote the time needed for someone to be active and engaged. Mom researched day programs for older adults.  She found a program at Silverado, Memory Care. The day program included physical activities and exercise like Zumba and aerobics, mindfulness exercises like yoga, Tai Chi, cognitive exercises and other social and volunteer activities.


“A fine recovery over several weeks and months”

My cousin is a neurosurgeon in Manhattan. When Dad first had his accident, my cousin followed the case closely. Three days after the accident he told me, “I would anticipate that he will make a fine recovery but it can take several weeks and months.”

Dad now he goes to Silverado 4 days a week. While I am in Houston, I pick him up as often as I can. I always instruct Dad to show me a new way to get Home. He still remembers all of the roads and he knows where the gas stations with the best prices are. 

He participates in the exercises and activities fully. Even if the activity isn’t or wasn’t his thing before, he does it because he knows that these experiences are the way to build and maintain his brain.

Mom is starting to have the comfort she needs to go back to work.

This weekend he hooked up his computer speakers himself and blasted the Thriller album from YouTube and danced, while he watched SB do a giant floor puzzle. At Mother’s Day brunch, he had a sip of Champagne and walked through the buffet line alone. I’m grateful to have another birthday with my Dad.

Piano Pleasures

My “piano studio” in Houston, TX

I played a real piano for the first time in 5 months and it was thrilling and humbling all at once.

The people at Fort Bend Music Center in Houston, TX were kind enough to let me play around on their instruments. I have a wonderful Steinway A3 at home so I wanted to play something equally wonderful if not more so. I chose the Bosendorfer Chopin model which retails at around $218,999.00.

Since I’ve been in Texas, I haven’t touched a real piano. I DO have a little midi controller that we bought in February. I play and compose on it almost every day. However, this little electronic keyboard is doing nothing for my technique.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 10.36.18 AM
$300k Bosendorfer Piano

The best I can compare this to is the difference between typing on an antique typewriter versus a new MacBook Pro keyboard or some other high end keyboard made for fast typing and very light finger action.

Another comparison is like driving a finely tuned, high-end, manual-shift sports car after driving an automatic transmission, economy class vehicle.

I look forward to going home and playing on my Steinway A3 and getting my fingers back.

Drinking Now: Birthday Bubbly!

IMG_2088I like to celebrate my birthday over a number of weeks and the celebration thus far has been tasty! Today I drank a lovely Champagne at Rouge Wine Bar in Houston, TX.

WineCarte Blanche, Brut – Premier Cru Champagne
ProducerCamille Saves, a grower Champagne, meaning that the grapes are grown and the wine is produced in small batches by a single family rather than a large house like Dom Perignon or Moet et Chandon
Varietals – 75% Pinot Noir, 25% Chardonnay
Location – A Bouzy, Champagne, France
Vintage – Non Vintage
Color – Golden flax
Nose – Closed, but I was buzzing from the Bandol I drank at dinner. Also, Champagne flutes are designed to preserve the bubbles, not enhance the aromas of the wine. So, I didn’t really pay attention.
Palate – First I experienced apple, then yeast, lemon, olive, a hint or red cherry and strawberries. The feeling on the palate was lovely. The very fine, persistent bubbles tickled the tongue.
Finish – The finish is super long and tastes like brioche and lemon bars

What I Ate – Nothing. I enjoyed this beautiful wine with family – Aunt Linda, Skylar and Allan. We sat outside on the patio at Rouge Wine Bar. As the sun set, the clear sky turned inky. The temperature held at around 80 degrees Fahrenheit and the humidity was high. We kept the Champagne on ice. The locals swear this is just Spring, but it felt like a hot Summer night to me.

Why I chose this wine – It’s my birthday! It also happens to be around the time of Mother’s Day. I was with family members I had not seen in years. Of course we should have a beautiful Champagne.